I was reading someone else's blog about women who wear veils and all the negative associations with it. I started to leave a comment, but then it just got so long so I decided to post my comments here instead.
People who think veiling = oppression of some sort are kind of stupid. I'm just saying.
I mean, are people who hold on to their chastity until marriage oppressed b/c they're not sexually liberated? What about those who don't like to wear low cut shirts because they're too modest to show their boobs? If a person has a higher degree of modesty than you, accept it and get over it. That doesn't make them a better person because there could be a million other things wrong with them.
It's oppressive when you're forced into it. There are women of all sorts of faiths who have been forced to wear whatever form of a veil. Muslim girls who are forced to wear hijab. I can't count how many stories I've read about girls entering the convent against their wills. And that's not right. I can only speak as a Muslim - wearing a veil IS a requirement in our religion, but to me it's live and let live. If you choose not to follow that particular command, I kind of don't give a shit. I'd be happy for you if you started wearing it because I do firmly believe in its benefits, but I don't look down on anyone who doesn't.
I want to say here though that while it's oppressive to force women to wear a veil, it's equally oppressive to keep women from wearing something they want to wear, like they do in some countries that are strong advocates of secularism. Yes, sometimes religion can get very institutionalized and controlling, but there are other people - a LOT of people who want to practice their religion. What's the big deal if they do? Honestly. People need to stop equating secularism with freedom and happiness. It is for some but not for others.
Re the "holier than thou" complex that some veiled women have - they're full of shit too. Like I said, I don't judge anyone who doesn't wear a scarf, partly because it's none of my business, but also because I know wearing a headscarf is only a tiny fraction of my religion, and there are other aspects where perhaps I'm weak and they're strong. God knows how messed up I am.
Honestly I think the world would be a MUCH better place if people were to just mind their own damn business and let people do their own thing. I mean, the U.S. screwed up most of Latin America because they were afraid of a communist "threat" when they were only using it for their own economic development, not for world domination. Likewise with veiled women: we wear it for ourselves, not to say "Hello, infidel. Come to our side or we will destroy you."
As I wrote this, I must have used the F-word at least a dozen times in my head. I get so worked up sometimes that I start cussing, and I lose my verbal flow. I'm so tired of defending the veil - I'm going to start giving people the finger if they look at me piteously or angrily. Is that very mean?
Comments (2)
Hey, its me Mary/Umby.
I agree about all of this. I obviously am not as well versed in it as you are, but I think the "live and let live" standard really should be universal and I think that judging anyone for appearance basis, whatever the circumstance, is just...counterproductive. We all have our own opinions on every matter, and if a person is choosing to wear or not wear something, it really is within their own right to do that. My friend Nabeel, who has a large amount of family from Pakistan (including both of his parents) got into a long discussion about arranged marriages with a girl we work with. She kept going on and on about how silly it was, and Nabeel was very calm about the matter, but he said that his parents actually had one and are still together and developed a very loving and long term relationship out of it. Once again, it isn't for everyone, but if it works for some people and for some cultures, dismissing someone's decision to do that is rude. I do think that allowing abusive or unfaithful marriages to continue and such is obviously wrong, but you can have that whether its arranged or not. Divorce is so common in this country. I don't know if I make any sense; I need to go to bed.
great post! I have a lot of the same thoughts. I am a Christian who chooses to wear a covering, and overall its been a positive experience. I am the only one who covers in my church, but everyone seems to understand its my choice, and I am not yelling at them to cover also (though I think it would be nice to meet others who cover, regardless of religion...). For me, it was obedience to what God was calling me to do. It had nothing to do with anyone else, what they were doing or not doing. I do it for God, and not for any other reason. :)
I have to agree with you also on the holier-than-thou attitude that some covered/modest individuals have. I pray that I never come off that way to others!