As I was doing my independent linguistics readings which my adviser had prescribed for PhD preparations, I couldn't help but feel slightly despaired. You see, the section of the book I was reading was about Spanglish, and the particular subsection I was on had been discussing transitional bilingual speakers and their defining characteristics, and they are as follows:
1. The speaker had little or no school training in Spanish
2. Spanish was spoken in early childhood, and either it was the only language used at home or it was spoken in conjunction with English.
3. A rapid shift from Spanish to English occurred before adolescence, involving the individual in question, his or her immediate family members, and/or the surrounding speech community.
4. Subsequent use of Spanish is confined to conversation with a few relatives.
5. When addressed in Spanish by individuals known to be bilingual, TB speakers often respond wholly or partially in English, thus giving rise to asymmetrical conversations.
6. There is no strong perception of the Spanish language as a positive component of Hispanic identity. Individuals' feelings toward the latter ethnic group range from mildly favorable to openly hostile and pessimistic.
If you were to take out the Spanish and replace it with Urdu, you would get me. I am a transitional bilingual speaker of Urdu. Those characteristics are all descriptive of my experience with Urdu, except #6 as of late. I'm not sure if it's a point of cultural or national pride that I want to retain and improve my Urdu, but the fact is I want to. It's a skill I had as a child but lost because I didn't care much. The same went for Arabic, though I never reached a point of competence with that as I had with Urdu.
Even though most of my energies are concentrated on being fluent in Spanish, I really want to salvage the little Urdu and Arabic that I've retained and improve myself in both.
I also really want to learn Pashto, my father's native language. I don't know a word of it, and would like to learn a few. For now though, I guess I'll stick to what I know, even if it's just a little. I'm not ready to give up on French or Italian just yet either, so add that to the list. At some point, learning Hebrew might be fun. Is that too ambitious for one lifetime?
I love that linguistics inspires me to write. Oh, how much longer will I have to be a prisoner of this M.A. program that has forced me to dissect literature to the point that I can no longer recognize it for its outer beauty? I want to dissect languages, not literature. I want to enjoy my novels and poetry books and keep them in tact. I keep forgetting that I'm here by my own free will.